Mother's Day Musings

To my daughter.

 I just dropped you off at your friends house.  When I watched you get out of the car with all of the grace and beauty of a young woman, my heart stopped a little with the realization that my little girl is now almost grown up.  In less than a year, you'll be driving a car (hopefully not mine) and bringing home your own pay cheque.  It really seems like yesterday that you so very excitedly gave me a plunger, pink plastic barrettes and a Barbie doll for Mothers' Day.  To this day I can't figure out the symbolism of the plunger, but you were so proud of yourself for making Daddy let you pick everything out on your own, that I still grin each time I have to pick up a plunger. Which is more often than I'd like to, since you keep forgetting we don't have a garbage disposal system.

When I think back on all of the years that you celebrated Mothers Day with me, I can't help but be so very grateful that I was blessed with you.  For many years I couldn't imagine a life with a child in it, but now I can't imagine a life without you.  I was the least likely candidate for motherhood (ask anyone who knew me back then), but from the moment I first held you, I knew what my true purpose in life was.  You gave me a reason to be, and still do, every single day.

As most mothers and daughters do, we have our ugly moments. We've had the raised voices, Mexican stand-offs, slammed doors and more recently, swearing competitions (which I will ALWAYS win).  We'll probably always have our disagreements, because we're two very different people and both entitled to our own thoughts and opinions.  I will always be annoyed with you for stretching my shoes, "borrowing" my clothes and leaving dirty dishes on the counter.  You will always be annoyed with me for being "weird", putting your things where you can't find them, and asking too many questions. Thankfully, we usually manage to forgive each other.  You finally forgave me for the "marshmallow farm" incident, and I have finally forgotten about the blue food coloring incident.  That's what mothers and daughters do.

Something else that mothers often do is give advice. I'm not great at advice, and I usually get it wrong, but there are a few things I would like you to try to remember as you grow up.  The most important one is to be responsible for your own happiness.  Don't depend on anyone else to make you happy - this is a surefire way to be disappointed.  And don't ever try to be responsible for the happiness of anyone else - that's impossible to do and far too much pressure to place on yourself.   Next, be independent but accept help when you need it.  Don't be afraid to ask for help, you'll be surprised at how many people just might be willing to lend you a hand.  Always let those you care about know how you feel, don't wait until you're at a point when your mind says "I wish I'd told **** how much I ****".    When you fall in love (which you will, several times), don't love with all of your heart - save a little of it for yourself.  Give other people a chance, but not so many that you become a doormat. When you get your heart broken, wallow for only a short time, then pick yourself up, hold your head high and move along. Never stay stuck with someone you don't belong with - if you're not happy, it's not meant to be.  Don't stay somewhere because you're afraid to leave, and remember that "reasons to stay" are only excuses not to leave.  When you make a mistake (again, you will do this many times), learn from it and do things differently the next time around. Finally, do what you love to do and never let anyone tell you that you can't. 

You have asked me for "hints" as to what I would like for Mothers' Day.  I already have the best gift of all, I have you.  Love you to the moon and back Em, always.