Although it's a bit early, today seemed like a good day to put up our Christmas tree and decorate it. Normally I would wait until the first week in December, but it felt like everyone needed just a little bit of fun today. I didn't realize just how heavy a 6 1/2 ft boxed tree was. It came into the house and down to the basement quite easily. Getting it back upstairs was an entirely different matter. In the end, I had to bring it up in stages without the box. That was the first obstacle.
Never having set up a tree before (that was the ex husbands' task), I rather foolishly was under the assumption that it couldn't be that difficult - mostly because of the fact that my ex-husband managed it every year. I should know better than to assume anything. When the tree stand had me momentarily baffled, I should have had an inkling of how this was going to go, but I didn't. Once I managed to put the stand together, I proceeded to start placing the tree into it. There were only three pieces, so I figured we'd be done in no time. At this point I should clarify that I did have a 15 year old assistant, although not the one that lives here. Once the first piece was in, with all of the branches fluffed and the attached lights sorted out, I noticed that the bottom branches were touching the floor. I commented on this, and my "assistant" then asked (actually it was more like a sigh) whether I had put the right piece in. Well, of course I did!!! There was a plug at the end of the lights, so it had to be the bottom part, didn't it? Again, there was another sigh from the other side of the tree.
Taking a closer look, I realized that I had indeed put the wrong piece in first. Enter disassemby mode.
After a bit of time and more effort than I had actually anticipated, all three pieces were in. It was then that I noticed the three screws lying on the floor. The screws that were supposed to be anchored into the stand once the first piece of the tree was put in. By this time, my assistant was highly disgusted. I could feel the Christmas spirit starting to trickle out of her with each passing second. When she realized that it would be her job to crawl under the tree and put the screws into the stand since I couldn't see a thing under there, the trickle became full fledged oozing. I was losing her, and fast. The only thing that saved me was the chocolate chip cookies that she could smell baking in the oven. I may not know much about tree assembly, but I do know enough to have some kind of bribery in place when working with teenagers.
By the time the cookies were out of the oven, the teen that actually belongs to me decided to crawl out from her cave and grace us with her presence. She usually tends to show up after the dirty work is done, so no one was expecting to see her until it was time to put ornaments on anyway. To her dismay however, the ornaments were still downstairs in a box too heavy for me to bring up alone. Her friend was clearly finished assisting by this time, so it was up to her to help me. I'm sure that I would have gotten the same reaction had I asked her to run 5K in a snowstorm, naked. After a half hour or so, she finally caved and half-heartedly helped drag the box upstairs, with me wincing at every bump from her end since there were very fragile items in that box.
I assumed (again) that this would be the easy part. It should have been, and it would have been except for the fact that I gave my old package of ornament hooks to my ex-spouse the other day. Had I known that my new hooks wouldn't work with most of my ornaments, I wouldn't have been so kind and generous. Of course, it's my own fault because I just HAD to buy the pretty and fancy looking ones last week. Being a couple of creative girls though, we found solutions and managed to get the job done.
We reminisced while decorating about the kinds of things I used to do to my daughter in jest when she was younger. She remembered the "candy cane" chalkboard that I had on the fridge. December started with the chalkboard full of candy canes that I had drawn. Whenever she misbehaved, the "elves" would come and erase some of them. She knew that if she got down to less than five candy canes on that board, Christmas would be a wash. Worked like a charm. And she has finally stopped being mad at me about the "marshmallow farms". That started hen she was three and we had driven past a farm with bales of hay wrapped in white plastic. My daughter asked what they were and I told her that it was a marshmallow farm, and those were marshmallows waiting to be cut up and bagged. A year or so later, we passed another farm and the bales were wrapped in black plastic. I told her they were the burnt ones. Unfortunately, at that stage of her life she believed everything that I told her. All was fine until she visited a farm with her grade one class. I knew I was in trouble when I saw her stomping up the driveway after school with steam coming from her ears. She has only just recently let this go and can now laugh about it. And laugh we did tonight.
All of the little annoyances and set-backs were worth every minute. The laughter and giggles that rang through our home tonight was such a very welcome sound. There was happiness and a nice easy and relaxed atmosphere that confirmed that everything is it should be. It's the way that our Christmases used to be until a few years ago, and the way that they will be from now on.
And I've marked the bottom part of the tree for next year. Just in case.
Saturday, 23 November 2013
Friday, 15 November 2013
Sifting and Sorting
I hadn't intended to write blogs weekly, but it seems like every week there is something new on my mind.
This week, it's the thought of Christmas, still many weeks away.
I thought it would be a good idea to sort through the boxes and bins of Christmas decorations tonight. Since my former spouse and I had already planned to separate by last December, I had rather hastily packed up all of the ornaments etc., shortly after that last Christmas. They sat in our shed until the day I moved last February, when they were again rather hastily stored away in my new home. Therefore, I really had no idea of what I had thrown away last year, what I had possibly left behind and what I had brought with me. Being one of those annoying type A personalities, I really felt I needed to get at those boxes now so that I would know what was missing before it was time to decorate for Christmas.
I didn't foresee this task to be as difficult as it turned out to be. Apparently, I brought everything with me that was in any way related to the holidays. Everything except the tree and lights. I thought I had brought a few boxes to my new home, I certainly didn't remember bringing more than a dozen large plastic tote bins. But then again, I don't really remember much about the packing I did last winter, there was far too much else to deal with.
As soon as I opened the first box, I knew this wasn't going to be an easy job to get through. The first thing I picked up was a tree ornament that said "Our First Christmas 1987". I sat there holding this ornament that at one time meant so much, but now I didn't know what I was supposed to do with it. I certainly don't want it on my Christmas tree anymore, but it felt wrong somehow to just throw it away. I really didn't think my ex-husband would want it either. After a few moments, I put it aside and continued sifting through the rest of the box. There was the "#1 Wife" ornament; one that said "World's Best Husband"; an ornament that commemorated our first home, and some from different places we had visited together many years ago when we were both very different people. In the end, I re-packed all of these things into a box marked "Christmas Memories", and put it back in the storage room. Way in the back.
The next challenge was the small box that held nothing but Eeyore tree ornaments. Twenty of them. Eeyore has always been my very favorite Disney character, and every Christmas for twenty years, without fail, my husband would get me a new ornament add to my collection. Since I have bought my own Christmas gifts for years, this was usually the only thing he got me on his own. There would have been twenty-five of them, had he bought one every year that we were married, but the last one he gave me was five years ago. I guess the writing was on the wall. Holding this little box of glass Eeyore's was like reading a fairy tale that didn't have the "happily ever after" ending.
Digging deeper, I found more of these Disney holiday-themed ornaments that my father had also given me over the years. At first, I wanted to sort through and divide the pile into the ones my father gave me and the ones my husband gave to me, so that I'd know which ones to place on my tree this year. Then, upon a few more moments of thought, I came to the realization that those twenty ornaments had been given to me during more peaceful times and do not hold bitter memories, but memories that I should honor.
That small realization made sorting and sifting through the rest of the boxes much easier. I was then able to look at other decorations and remember the many good Christmases that our family had over the years. I was no longer melancholy about the fact that my days of hosting Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner for a houseful of my family have come to an end. I'm no longer upset about the fact that I don't have a large home to deck out, or that there will be no longer be visitors to entertain over the Christmas holidays. I'm not dreading spending Christmas Eve alone this year, but I am definitely thinking that having my ex-spouse at my home Christmas morning to open gifts with our daughter will be the most awkward experience ever thrust upon me. There will be booze in the coffee that morning.
By the time the last box was sorted, I was emotionally exhausted but at the same time looking forward to starting new Christmas traditions with my daughter. I am proud of my ex-husband and I for getting to the point where we can plan to spend Christmas morning together so that our daughter can at least have that tradition remain unchanged. I am excited about putting up my own tree and using my creativity to transform this pitifully small little house into something beautiful and comforting during what used to be, and will be again, my favorite holiday.
I guess it wasn't only the boxes that got sifted through and sorted out tonight.
This week, it's the thought of Christmas, still many weeks away.
I thought it would be a good idea to sort through the boxes and bins of Christmas decorations tonight. Since my former spouse and I had already planned to separate by last December, I had rather hastily packed up all of the ornaments etc., shortly after that last Christmas. They sat in our shed until the day I moved last February, when they were again rather hastily stored away in my new home. Therefore, I really had no idea of what I had thrown away last year, what I had possibly left behind and what I had brought with me. Being one of those annoying type A personalities, I really felt I needed to get at those boxes now so that I would know what was missing before it was time to decorate for Christmas.
I didn't foresee this task to be as difficult as it turned out to be. Apparently, I brought everything with me that was in any way related to the holidays. Everything except the tree and lights. I thought I had brought a few boxes to my new home, I certainly didn't remember bringing more than a dozen large plastic tote bins. But then again, I don't really remember much about the packing I did last winter, there was far too much else to deal with.
As soon as I opened the first box, I knew this wasn't going to be an easy job to get through. The first thing I picked up was a tree ornament that said "Our First Christmas 1987". I sat there holding this ornament that at one time meant so much, but now I didn't know what I was supposed to do with it. I certainly don't want it on my Christmas tree anymore, but it felt wrong somehow to just throw it away. I really didn't think my ex-husband would want it either. After a few moments, I put it aside and continued sifting through the rest of the box. There was the "#1 Wife" ornament; one that said "World's Best Husband"; an ornament that commemorated our first home, and some from different places we had visited together many years ago when we were both very different people. In the end, I re-packed all of these things into a box marked "Christmas Memories", and put it back in the storage room. Way in the back.
The next challenge was the small box that held nothing but Eeyore tree ornaments. Twenty of them. Eeyore has always been my very favorite Disney character, and every Christmas for twenty years, without fail, my husband would get me a new ornament add to my collection. Since I have bought my own Christmas gifts for years, this was usually the only thing he got me on his own. There would have been twenty-five of them, had he bought one every year that we were married, but the last one he gave me was five years ago. I guess the writing was on the wall. Holding this little box of glass Eeyore's was like reading a fairy tale that didn't have the "happily ever after" ending.
Digging deeper, I found more of these Disney holiday-themed ornaments that my father had also given me over the years. At first, I wanted to sort through and divide the pile into the ones my father gave me and the ones my husband gave to me, so that I'd know which ones to place on my tree this year. Then, upon a few more moments of thought, I came to the realization that those twenty ornaments had been given to me during more peaceful times and do not hold bitter memories, but memories that I should honor.
That small realization made sorting and sifting through the rest of the boxes much easier. I was then able to look at other decorations and remember the many good Christmases that our family had over the years. I was no longer melancholy about the fact that my days of hosting Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner for a houseful of my family have come to an end. I'm no longer upset about the fact that I don't have a large home to deck out, or that there will be no longer be visitors to entertain over the Christmas holidays. I'm not dreading spending Christmas Eve alone this year, but I am definitely thinking that having my ex-spouse at my home Christmas morning to open gifts with our daughter will be the most awkward experience ever thrust upon me. There will be booze in the coffee that morning.
By the time the last box was sorted, I was emotionally exhausted but at the same time looking forward to starting new Christmas traditions with my daughter. I am proud of my ex-husband and I for getting to the point where we can plan to spend Christmas morning together so that our daughter can at least have that tradition remain unchanged. I am excited about putting up my own tree and using my creativity to transform this pitifully small little house into something beautiful and comforting during what used to be, and will be again, my favorite holiday.
I guess it wasn't only the boxes that got sifted through and sorted out tonight.
Saturday, 9 November 2013
Remembrance Day
As Remembrance Day draws near, I've been thinking quite a bit about not just the traditional ceremony of remembering and honoring those who gave their lives for our freedom, but also of how this November 11th will be etched in my mind for a few other reasons.
This year, I had planned to attend the Remembrance Day ceremony at the nursing home that my father resides in, however as he is now in hospital, this is not to be. I am not entirely sure whether he would have had any true awareness of the purpose of the ceremony anyway, but part of me likes to think that he would. When visiting him this past week, he was wearing a poppy, as was I. However, mine was a bit askew. He pointed at my poppy and gave me a stern look as if to tell me to straighten it up. I am fully aware that it could have just been because he recognized crooked when he saw it, but my heart says it's because he knew what the poppy meant and that it should be placed properly. I will attend the local ceremony without my father, I will honor our veterans for him and will remember what he cannot on this special day. I'll also make sure my poppy is properly placed.
My dad, having been a Naval reservist before dedicating 40 years as a civilian with DND, was always proud of our military. He spent his career working with Navy personnel and although he was a little disappointed with the fact that both my sister and I married "zoomies", he nonetheless was proud to be the father-in-law of two enlisted men.
Following in his footsteps, I have worked with DND since the age of 17 and have met too many wonderful military personnel to count, although I remember every one of them. The majority of the people who have been (and still are) in my life all have a tie to our Armed Forces in one way or another. My heart always fills with pride to see those I work with on parade at a Remembrance Day ceremony, or standing alongside those who served before them. I have seen these people spring into action at a moment's notice to deploy so many times that I've lost count, and the term "comrades" certainly comes to mind in these instances. The way these women and men pull together to get the job done continues to amaze me. It makes me honored to be in their presence on a daily basis. Although I do not
wear a uniform, and my role bears little of the importance that theirs does, I think of myself as part of the extended military team and family, and I cannot think of a better group to belong to.
I have always considered November 11th to be an important and special day. It will now forever hold other memories for me of a much different nature. November 11, 2012 was the day that my 25 year marriage imploded and life as I knew it changed forever. It was not an unexpected or shocking event, yet it wasn't something I had planned on my to-do list when I awoke that morning.
The next few months were a very difficult time for me. Starting over at this stage of my life absolutely terrified and overwhelmed me. Although I wanted to keep this private for a bit, there were a handful of military co-workers that I had to make aware of the situation, partly because my spouse and I worked in the same general vicinity, and partly because I wasn't sure how many of my duties I would be able to deal with at the time. The support that I received from those co-workers was astounding. I will never forget the kindness they showed me and the time they took to do whatever they could to help me get through my days, both professionally and personally. I remember thinking then, as I do now, that I am so very fortunate to work with these people, because they have the biggest hearts in the world and will not hesitate to form a protective circle around someone they consider their own.
When I battled a different, much more difficult war this summer, these same "troops" gathered around me again and stood by my side to help me through it. My superiors and Commanding Officer ensured that I got the support and understanding that was needed and they allowed me the flexibility to only work a few hours a day for several months. The rest of my co-workers picked me up when I needed it, and didn't leave my side until I could stand on my own again. The welfare calls, texts, and visits came in daily, and they were there for me at any time of day or night. Some listened, some talked and some literally just held my hand in silence. Many were not aware of the situation, but they instinctively knew I needed them and were there with no questions asked. Again, they formed that protective circle around me and stood beside me as I faced another tough personal battle. I couldn't have fought that battle without them, and I certainly couldn't have claimed victory without them.
On Remembrance Day, not only will I remember those that gave their lives for their country, but I will remember those that gave their time, support and friendship to me when I needed it most. I will forever remember all that they did for me and I will always be grateful for the friendships that existed before
last November, and those that have been created since.
Remembrance Day for me will now also be a day of not only honoring our veterans, but honoring the gift of friendship that my extended military family has blessed me with.
This year, I had planned to attend the Remembrance Day ceremony at the nursing home that my father resides in, however as he is now in hospital, this is not to be. I am not entirely sure whether he would have had any true awareness of the purpose of the ceremony anyway, but part of me likes to think that he would. When visiting him this past week, he was wearing a poppy, as was I. However, mine was a bit askew. He pointed at my poppy and gave me a stern look as if to tell me to straighten it up. I am fully aware that it could have just been because he recognized crooked when he saw it, but my heart says it's because he knew what the poppy meant and that it should be placed properly. I will attend the local ceremony without my father, I will honor our veterans for him and will remember what he cannot on this special day. I'll also make sure my poppy is properly placed.
My dad, having been a Naval reservist before dedicating 40 years as a civilian with DND, was always proud of our military. He spent his career working with Navy personnel and although he was a little disappointed with the fact that both my sister and I married "zoomies", he nonetheless was proud to be the father-in-law of two enlisted men.
Following in his footsteps, I have worked with DND since the age of 17 and have met too many wonderful military personnel to count, although I remember every one of them. The majority of the people who have been (and still are) in my life all have a tie to our Armed Forces in one way or another. My heart always fills with pride to see those I work with on parade at a Remembrance Day ceremony, or standing alongside those who served before them. I have seen these people spring into action at a moment's notice to deploy so many times that I've lost count, and the term "comrades" certainly comes to mind in these instances. The way these women and men pull together to get the job done continues to amaze me. It makes me honored to be in their presence on a daily basis. Although I do not
wear a uniform, and my role bears little of the importance that theirs does, I think of myself as part of the extended military team and family, and I cannot think of a better group to belong to.
I have always considered November 11th to be an important and special day. It will now forever hold other memories for me of a much different nature. November 11, 2012 was the day that my 25 year marriage imploded and life as I knew it changed forever. It was not an unexpected or shocking event, yet it wasn't something I had planned on my to-do list when I awoke that morning.
The next few months were a very difficult time for me. Starting over at this stage of my life absolutely terrified and overwhelmed me. Although I wanted to keep this private for a bit, there were a handful of military co-workers that I had to make aware of the situation, partly because my spouse and I worked in the same general vicinity, and partly because I wasn't sure how many of my duties I would be able to deal with at the time. The support that I received from those co-workers was astounding. I will never forget the kindness they showed me and the time they took to do whatever they could to help me get through my days, both professionally and personally. I remember thinking then, as I do now, that I am so very fortunate to work with these people, because they have the biggest hearts in the world and will not hesitate to form a protective circle around someone they consider their own.
When I battled a different, much more difficult war this summer, these same "troops" gathered around me again and stood by my side to help me through it. My superiors and Commanding Officer ensured that I got the support and understanding that was needed and they allowed me the flexibility to only work a few hours a day for several months. The rest of my co-workers picked me up when I needed it, and didn't leave my side until I could stand on my own again. The welfare calls, texts, and visits came in daily, and they were there for me at any time of day or night. Some listened, some talked and some literally just held my hand in silence. Many were not aware of the situation, but they instinctively knew I needed them and were there with no questions asked. Again, they formed that protective circle around me and stood beside me as I faced another tough personal battle. I couldn't have fought that battle without them, and I certainly couldn't have claimed victory without them.
On Remembrance Day, not only will I remember those that gave their lives for their country, but I will remember those that gave their time, support and friendship to me when I needed it most. I will forever remember all that they did for me and I will always be grateful for the friendships that existed before
last November, and those that have been created since.
Remembrance Day for me will now also be a day of not only honoring our veterans, but honoring the gift of friendship that my extended military family has blessed me with.
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