The Best Outcome

Late last week, I received the news that I will not need chemotherapy for my cancer treatment. I'm not sure what the oncologist had tested for, but whatever it was, my numbers were low enough that chemo wouldn't be of any more benefit than the immunotherapy treatment. It's a lot easier to take a pill than go through chemo.

As a Capricorn, it's often hard to find my "inner child", but I literally skipped down the sidewalk of the hospital that day.  My sister was several feet behind me, unsure of whether to join me or pretend she didn't know me. Fortunately she chose the former.  

The relief that I felt is indescribable. I'd gone into the appointment expecting the worst and ended up with the best outcome I could hope for.  For the next five years, my chances of recurrence will be slightly higher than the average person, but the specialists seem very pleased with how everything has gone so far.  I can't explain how devastating the thought of losing my hair was. I know that's not what the big picture was about, but I'm really happy I don't need to endure that.

I still have a lot more to deal with, but knowing that chemo isn't included in that is a huge boost.  The immunotherapy drug is causing a few inconveniences like nausea, tiredness and hot flashes (on a scale I didn't realise existed).  The nerve pain medication causes fatigue as well, but it's starting to work and gives me plausible nap excuses. Overall, none of these things are insurmountable and my hope is that it all eases up as my system adjusts.

My return to work will have to wait a bit longer as I'll need to have frequent lymphatic massage appointments to help with the edema, and weekly physio to regain full range of motion in my arm. There's also the counseling sessions to help me deal with the new reality of my life, but I think these are all pretty good trade offs for the chemo. So for now, I'm too busy to go back to work.  

This outcome (so far) makes me feel very lucky. Anyone who knows me well also knows that my name and "luck" usually are never in the same sentence.  This time, luck was on my side. From the initial pain that I shouldn't have had at that early stage, to the fact that the tumor stayed in situ and the break on treatment, I truly feel like I had a protective force around me.

Aside from luck, I believe that positivity manifests what is needed. I'm not known to be an overly positive gal when it comes to my life, but I really had a lot of backup for this. The abundance of positive messages, texts, gifts, visits and support from my huge army of friends and family played a big role in getting me through the hardest days I've ever faced. There's no way I could have stayed intact if I'd battled this alone, thankfully I didn't have to. I love and appreciate each and every one of these friends more than they will ever know and will never forget their kindness. 

Now if someone could find me a mask, some Purell and a roll of toilet paper, my damaged immune system would appreciate it.  The only Corona anything that I want to deal with is the kind in a bottle that goes well with a lime wedge.